Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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