Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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