so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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