i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
