So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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