11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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