dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
