I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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