By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
