And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
