piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
