Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
