I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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