I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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