I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
