Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
