You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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