My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
