why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
