she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
