Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
