If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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