32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
