so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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