Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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