ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
