Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
