I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
