went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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