I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
