so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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