i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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