its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
