woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
