I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
they're like a gay fantastic four
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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