this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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