Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
