I can text with my tongue
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
