She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
