Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize