Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
