1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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