That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
