you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
