Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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