yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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