there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
