Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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