Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
