My liver just broke up with me...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
