Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
