Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
