i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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